"Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.
If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
- Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
We have all been hurt by someone whether it was intentional or unintentional. Sometimes we hurt someone we love because we know it’s not working out. This happened to me in my twenties. I met someone who absolutely adored me, and I loved him, too. But it was a long-distance relationship which wasn’t going to change. Then I met the man who I would eventually marry.
I needed to be honest with my long-distance boyfriend, so I broke the news to him that I had met someone. This took him by surprise, in fact, it affected his entire aura, and he was such a charismatic person. Thankfully, we were able to move on still loving each other. Now I know, love never ends.
Love has an eternal cosmic bond that is so strong, nothing can destroy it. I later found out that my long-distance boyfriend had met someone and had a very loving relationship for the rest of his life. I, on the other hand, got married, but ten years later divorced. However, I have an amazing son because of the marriage.
Although divorce can be painful, we can gain so much from it. After my divorce, I learned so much about myself that I’m grateful for the experience. I learned that I’m resilient, strong, capable, intelligent, creative, and more.
Forgiveness is a powerful aspect of love which teaches us to have compassion for others. I’m still learning about hurting, letting go, and forgiving. What I have learned is that if someone hurts us and we continue to let it happen, we are allowing ourselves to be hurt. But we have choices:
1.) Discuss the issue(s) with the person in a calm and peaceful manner. Perhaps together you can discuss solutions to the problem.
2.) If you are at fault, admit it and apologize. Give the person time to forgive you.
3.) End the relationship without explanation (it’s possible that the person doesn’t realize they are hurting you and may want to work on changing if you bring it to their attention). However, if you are in an abusive relationship, please read the information below; and,
4.) If you have come to realize that this is truly how this person behaves, and they are unwilling to change, then do your best to let go, set boundaries, and/or move on.
Here are some of the ways I’ve learned to forgive and let go with love:
- Love yourself
- Surround yourself with people who love you
- Forgive the person and yourself
- Be patient and give yourself time to heal
- Set intentions and goals
- Stay busy
- Do things with family and friends
- Get out in the sunshine and nature
- Volunteer at your favorite charity organization
- Learn a new skill or hobby
- Write poems
- Listen to music
Forgiving and letting go are two very important life lessons. When our guiding principles are love and forgiveness, we can’t go wrong. We’ll still have lessons and challenges, but when we are kind and loving, we have taken the path of peace and harmony.
Love and forgiveness will heal a broken heart and just about everything else. Give yourself time to heal while loving yourself and others.
Wishing you an abundance of healing blessings.
This article is the opinion of the author based on her personal experiences. If you are experiencing emotional difficulties that affect the quality of your life, please seek the advice of a professional therapist.
If you are in an abusive relationship, please seek help.
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1800-273-TALK (8255), text “help” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.